Dear life,

I hate leaving the library near 11pm and the little eateries near my apartment are all closed.

I hate how I haven’t unrolled my yoga mat from the corner of my room in almost 2 months.

I hate how often my printer runs out of blue  ink, although all I’m printing is black and white

I hate how the recipe for pancakes yield 12-14 fat frisbees, yet the 2 i get from Ihop are just as bad as the homemade dozen

I hate how long I left the last load of laundry in the dryer. Are they still clean after 4 days?

I hate how many pens I’ve lost this semester, especially since the refills I bought for them are now in limbo.

I hate how difficult it is to decide whether to go to sleep or not. To stay up to catch up or go to bed behind in the count

I hate  that the red sox game was rained out today, since a double header tomorrow is way too distracting.

I hate all this sitting, all this coffee and medication.

I hate not being able to be me, to do things that make me feel complete.

I hate not going for runs, to concerts, friends houses, and to girls blouses. lol

I hate all the things law school makes me do,

But that’s ok, I accept that.

I accept the 10 pounds I’ve gained, the all nighter’s I’ve pulled, the sweatpants I’ve worn to class, the shear number of fiber one bars I’ve consumed, chewing gum, k-cups, incense, all these things that keep me on the straight and narrow.

I think back to the words of my mother.. “forgo momentary pleasure for future gain” and her father’s words to her “baby doll, this too shall pass”

It’ll all be worth it. I just don’t have it yet. I guess the only reason I’m upset is because the two main things I value most in life.. Love and health have been slipping.. See the fried chicken and beer red sox of 2012… But I haven’t needed Tommy John, but maybe only Jimmy John to get by. i could make a million baseball references of trying to prepare for the wicked “curveball” the “professor” might throw my way. With a starting 5 man rotation of: Rivers-James, Katz, Levine, Exum, and Dunham. With Parish and Perkins as bench/pitching coaches..

I’d like to think… as step up to the plate (for finals) for the 2nd time.. The 2nd of only 6 plate appearances. I just want to make contact. I know I’m not going to strike out. I’ve worked too hard to strike out. I know I can foul off a few questions, bullshit a correct response here and there.. but I want a fucking base hit eventually. No hit by pitches please. Please dont tell me 10 minutes before the end of the exam that the question was flawed and that my answer is irrelevant to the intent of the teacher. Please dont throw a knuckle ball that has to do with a latin term that I never studied and cant even give a confident reaction to. Please for the love of all that is holy-guacamole, may these next two weeks go by with gusto and poise. With grace. And that the feeling of then being a rising 2L makes a significant and lasting impression on career of this young legal prospect.

Go Red Sox and Go Me.

Good luck and good night.

Jules Russell Toraby